


Wedding Crashers

by holograma308



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: F/M, Wedding, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25850191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holograma308/pseuds/holograma308
Summary: For Jackie's birthday, Hyde has a special surprise combining their interests that'll put their opposing views on marriage to the test. One shot, not fluff. Takes place after "Do You Think It's Alright?" (6x18).
Relationships: Jackie Burkhart/Steven Hyde
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Wedding Crashers

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea Jackie and Hyde would crash a wedding for a while now, and I had to write it since my "Going to California part 2" story's been fun but also a little intimidating to write since it's more open ended so this was like a quick break from it. This one's in third person for once, so if you aren't into stories written in first person that won't be an issue here haha. Enjoy!

Jackie Burkhart waits eagerly for Steven to return from work. Doing homework in Donna's room has grown tiresome. He'd planned a special surprise for her eighteenth birthday tonight, which passed quietly a few days before with her mom so draped over Mr. Pinciotti she'd seemed to have conveniently forgotten. Dress nice, he'd told her as he buttoned his chef's apron before his shift. This should be your kind of thing. Normally he hated every component of this type of surprise: gifts, dressing up, birthdays. She doesn't have the slightest idea what he could be planning, and it threatens to overwhelm her as she glares at her math homework.

"I can't take it anymore. I'm getting ready" she says to Donna, who lays perched across her bed reading a tattered book that looks like it came from an orphanage to Jackie.

Donna rolls her eyes. "Jackie, Hyde's not getting off work for another two hours".

"So? How do you think I got to be the most popular girl in school, Donna?"

Donna laughs at Jackie gets ready, taking her hot rollers out, ironing a floor length sparkly blue dress, and reapplying a fresh coat of lip gloss every two minutes.

"That looks like my old prom dress".

"You wish, you big red lumberjack".  
"Jackie, didn't you go to that prom with Hyde?"

Jackie's face lights up immediately. "Oh, thanks for reminding me of that, Donna! Even then, he was so sweet to me". She drops her voice like she's telling a secret. "Even though he claimed to hate me back then, he called me beautiful". The memory of when he'd last called her beautiful, at the mall in a wedding dress, is fresh in her mind, and she can't help but reminisce on the first time.

Donna smiles, happy her friend miraculously found someone as good for her as Hyde. "Wow, I had no idea he was such a romantic" she comments snarkily and pauses, considering.

"I think he's always kind of liked you no matter what he said. Look, if I tell you something can you shut your big mouth for once in your life?"

Jackie rolls her eyes. "Donna, it's me we're talking about? You know I can't do that! It's not in the Burkhart blood".

"Well, you might want to for once. What if this fact-oh, you know, made the surprise better?"

"Fine".

"Okay, I don't know much, but I overheard him talking to Mrs. Forman. I think he's taking you to some kind of dance"

Jackie jumps up and down, squealing with excitement. "He'd do that for me? But I'm on square dancing probation!"

"I told you, he always kind of liked you, Jackie".

\--

"Hey" Hyde mutters, reaching over to open Jackie's side of the El Camino. He's in a dark brown suit Jackie got him for Christmas the year before, itching from his accidental conformity to the corporate world. But tonight should be fun, if all plays out as follows.

"So, any guesses?" he asks his girlfriend.

"The Village?" She chooses to play along, not admitting what Donna told her.

He snickers at how wrong she is.

She looks up in confusion when they reach the dim neon lights of the Holiday Hotel. "Steven, you took me to the hotel?". She lights up. "Are you gonna cook for me?"

"Not quite. But you'll love it" he reassures, fighting the worry his plan won't work out.

Jackie and Hyde stop in their tracks in front of the big conference room, which is rapidly filling up with people in similarly formal dress. Chairs are stacked by the side of the room, loud music blaring out of a record player near the open bar.

She gives Hyde a blissfully bewildered look. "We're going to a wedding? I thought you swore off weddings forever!"  
"Oh, only in the traditional sense. Get it?"

"You think you're so meta"

He laughs, half whispering. "We're gonna crash it!"

"Oh, Steven, you're the best!!"

Jackie and Hyde carefully make their way in, trying to look like they belong and nodding enthusiastically at the nearby guests like they know them.

"So" Jackie mumbles, twisting a curl around her finger as they discreetly sit down at the edge of an empty table. "Here's our story. The bride and I were neighbors growing up. She's a sweet girl. One time my pet rabbit Priscilla ran away, and she found her for me right by the fence of my property. You're just my mysterious older boyfriend tagging along".

Hyde nods admirably at her. "Jackie, you really thought this out. Nice".

"Always gotta have a wedding story ready for any situation, Steven".

Hyde shakes his head, rolling his eyes with a small smile. He'd pretty much sworn off marriage, but seeing Jackie in a wedding dress last week had been a game changer. It'd made him feel things he was terrified of, things he would rather be caught listening to disco than admit out loud. Now he knew sooner or later he'd be forced to make the impossible decision of marrying her or losing her, and being at a wedding with Jackie is the last thing he needs right now. But it's probably illegal to crash, he's able to get wasted for free and she's happy, so kind of worth it?

The crowd broke into cheers, interrupting Hyde's train of thought.

"And now...the guests of honor!"

A beautiful redhead in a lacy white gown enters happily, flanked by a scrawny brunette groom whose tuxedo seems too big for him.

"Who'd have thought, Forman and Donna really made it" Hyde observes as Jackie giggles.

The dinner feast makes Mrs. Forman's food seem bland, all lobster still in its shell, creamy scalloped potatoes and unlimited bread rolls. As the drinks keep rolling, Hyde begins to relax. Free food like this doesn't come easy in his life.

Jackie nudges him. "Oh, Steven, the gin and tonic is just fabulous here! I haven't had such a good one since Carol's wedding five years ago! Care to try a sip?" She takes a big gulp, trying badly to conceal her disgusted expression.  
Hyde rolls his eyes, snickering. She's so hell bent on people not finding out how young they were that she's trying to drink like a forty five year old, or at least what she imagined a forty five year old would drink. He takes a reluctant sip, doing a better job than her but still not fully concealing his disgust through a little smile at her. He wishes he still had his beard. No one would suspect a thing then, at least on his end.

The toasts begin. Jackie listens eagerly. This is a key part of the reception, both to go undetected for the rest of the night by learning a few facts about the bride and groom, as well as seeing people fawn over them. She can't wait for this part of her own wedding. She itches to bring it up with Steven, now that she knows he's at least seriously considering marrying her, but she doesn't want to overwhelm him. She decides to sprinkle in the references like little chocolate chips, here and there but not overpowering.

"...Annie, I don't know you well but you seem...nice and you got Ben totally whipped, so I know you're gonna make it or whatever. To Ben and Annie!". Jackie turns back to Hyde, seething, but he is predictably looking at the jerk making the toast admirably. "Man, I gotta take some pointers from that guy for Forman's wedding".

She glares at him. "Steven, if your best man pick for our wedding is anything like that, I'm not letting you have any say in our honeymoon destination!".

"Jackie, if you think we're gonna be able to afford a honeymoon, you're delusional" he replies, annoyed she had to bring up their hypothetical wedding. He'd called her beautiful, wasn't that enough?

Unfortunately, she somehow loves what he said. "Oh, Steven, you didn't deny our wedding! That is so romantic!".

He can't take it anymore. Sure, he likes a free party and being below the law, but he is really doing this to make her happy. Can't she just take what they have and stop bugging him about tying the knot every second?

"Would you quit it with all the wedding talk? If I hear another word, you're alone here" he barks, turning away from her.

She looks down, somewhat hurt. "I didn't force you into anything yet, Steven".

From the boombox, Eric Clapton croons the first verse of "Wonderful Tonight". "Jesus, can't your neighbor and her little lover stop blindly following every societal cue and listen to some real music?" Hyde remarks to Jackie as the bride and groom move to the middle of the floor for their first dance. He likes Clapton, but this song is a different story. They stand swaying in the middle of the dance floor, heads pressed together like no one else matters. He has to admit they look happy.

"Everybody!" Ben and Annie shout. Fueled by alcohol, the couples around them make their way to the dance floor, along with some kids squealing of glee.

"Come on" Jackie says, reaching her hand out to Hyde. He doesn't like dancing, but things have been a bit tense between the two of them since he threatened to leave. He figures he better suppress his asshole side a bit as long as she keeps her mouth shut about them getting married. Hopefully soon she'll get caught up dancing with some of the friends she'd inexplicably made at their table with her fabricated story and he can sit down for a minute. And he'll admit as long as he's dancing with her it goes from terrible to bearably bad.

Jackie and Hyde move onto the dancefloor, the song thankfully changing into a faster one.

"Remember our prom dance? Donna was trying to say my dress looked like her old prom dress earlier. Like she has my immaculate eye for fashion" Jackie shudders at the concept.

"That was something" Hyde agrees.

"I was such an idiot pining over Michael. You were so sweet to me even then. I wish I'd stayed with you, but it is so romantic we went to prom years before we started dating". Unsure if he's still listening, she adds, "Isn't it, Steven?"

"You know I don't think anything's romantic, but I guess that would be if I did".

"Oh, Steven". She smiles at him lovingly and they share a quick peck over the swaying of the music, loving each other for their differences.

Just then, a young woman from their table named Mary comes up to them. "Jackie! Come with me to the bouquet toss! Maybe Annie will give it to you like she gave you Priscilla back years ago!".

Jackie looks at Steven desperately. Will he be mad if she does this? She wants so much to catch the bouquet, to have her feelings validated. He looks a bit annoyed, but he surprisingly gestures for her to go. Jackie doesn't understand until she realizes he would never believe catching a few flowers can lead to marriage. The bride is standing at the other end of the room and from their table, so he probably won't see what happened anyway. It's the moments like this when she's weirdly grateful to be dating a conspiracist.

She mouths a quick thank you and eagerly runs off with Mary. Hyde sits down at the table, grateful for a breather but also a bit off put by her eagerness to catch the bouquet. At least some dumb flowers can't possibly mean anything about their relationship.

Soon she comes back with Mary, refusing to talk about who caught the bouquet for some reason. Hyde couldn't see who caught it from their back corner table, and he didn't care enough to try to get a better look. But Jackie's strange unwillingness to address the bouquet toss strikes him as a bit strange. She's just a little sad the inevitable played out and she didn't catch it, right? Out of the corner of his eye, he notices another woman jumping up and down excitedly and clutching a bouquet. That must be the case if she didn't catch it, but he doesn't understand why Jackie isn't discussing what happened, maybe calling her a bitch for good measure. This is what he wants, right? Annoyingly, he can't get it off his mind all through cake, which has layers of peanut butter chocolate just the way he likes.

After dessert, Jackie runs off eagerly to the dancefloor with some of the other girls at the table, and Hyde watches from afar, admiring how hot she looks as she dances. You can tell she was a cheerleader, he thinks, snickering to himself. She's effortlessly made friends here, fitting into the world of people she doesn't even know, and he'll no doubt hear her insult them later as her idea of foreplay. She really is something, his girlfriend.

Unfortunately, at that moment he realizes the bride and groom are making their way around, and they've made it to his back table. The bride is engrossed in conversation, but the groom, Ben was his name or something, is awkwardly standing right by him. He doesn't want to get kicked out, and he feels like he has to say something despite his hatred of weddings.

He clears his throat. "Uh...congrats, man".

Startled, Ben gives him a weird look. He really does remind him of Forman. "How do we know you?"

"Just tagging along, you know how it is. My girl knows yours, I think they used to be neighbors?"

Usually he can talk his way out of anything, but right now, he can tell he's doing a bad job because Ben looks completely unconvinced.

"Don't you work for Roy?". Damn it. How the hell does he know Roy? Hyde doesn't know if he can be honest about his job or this is a trap.

"Uh....yeah" he admits. "I'm the main chef at this hotel". In an attempt to sound older, he adds, "Been doing it for a while".

Ben looks at Hyde skeptically, but doesn't press the issue any further. "So, that's your girlfriend, huh" he remarks, nodding in the direction of where Jackie's wowing a bunch of twenty-five year olds with her dancing.

"Yup, I'm afraid".

"When are you guys tying the knot?"

God, can't he just have a night of fun without having to plan out his whole future? He'd never have thought the groom would end up confronting him about Jackie.

"Whatever, I don't have time for shit like that" He hopes his rudeness will make Ben leave him alone, but it only makes him laugh. This guy is really getting on his nerves.

"I used to have a friend kind of like you, man. Trust me, marriage it seems scary" He looks back at his new wife admirably, who's moved onto the next table by now. "But you know, you love her, are you really gonna find anything better? You just gotta go for it".

Who the hell is this guy trying to analyze his life? He didn't know him at all. He knew he can't say anything that rude-he already seems suspicious-but he urges to tell him where to stick it. Hyde rolls his eyes, trying to decide what to even say. But then Ben speaks again before he can. "Look, I know who you are, kid. You don't know anyone here. I'm a dentist. Roy goes to me. Bit of an oversharer, huh?"

Hyde is seething. How could this happen? He's getting found out. Ironically, without Jackie's big mouth.

"You have five minutes to get out, and I won't tell anyone".

Well, damn. He'd drank all his fancy liquor, so he can't be mad at him. He's just lucky this guy isn't gonna call the cops or something. Good thing he's more the girly type that gives unwelcome romantic advice instead of punching dirtbags like him in the balls.

He nods, half gratefully, and goes to find Jackie.

As the crickets chirp in the distance, Jackie and Hyde make their way out to the car. Overall, she's happy with how the night went. She and Steven had a romantic dance, she'd made some friends that also had seen all of The Newlywed Game, and the food was a million times better than anything at the Pinciotti's house. Still, there'd been some tension, from when she'd tried to bring up their own wedding to their awkward exit, Steven basically dragging her away from her new friends as the groom glared at them. At least they hadn't gotten in any trouble.

Hyde breaks the silence. "So, I'm guessing you didn't catch the bouquet?"

Ugh. She doesn't want to talk about this. She'd been delusional to think she would catch the flowers. "What do you think?"

He smiles. "I think catching it stunned you into silence and now you don't want to get married anymore".

"Steven, this isn't a joke"

Hyde thinks about what Ben told him. He doesn't want to offend her, and annoying as he was maybe he knows a thing or two. He'll do this once.

"Look, Jackie. You know I think marriage is a scam created to keep people from rebelling against the Man".

"Obviously" she mutters.

"But that doesn't matter as much where you're involved, okay? So if I say that you have a chance of all this once, will you just quit bringing it up until we're a little older?". He gulps, uncomfortable with his honesty. She better understand.

Jackie instantly feels better. "Oh, Steven. I knew you felt that way when you said I was beautiful in the wedding gown. But I'm sorry for pressing it so much. I guess I'm just unsure about my life after I graduate, especially with whatever mess my parents created at the moment. For the first time, I don't know if Daddy can support me, you know? But now that I know how you feel, I'll stop now, I promise".

Hyde grins, slinging his arm around her as they approach his car. "Jackie, when your parents are being shitty, remember I'm there for you, alright?"

She only has three words to say. "I love you".

"I love you too". He pinches her nose playfully. 

They make their way back to the Formans' house, fading into the night just quickly enough to make it to Hyde's cot and give in to how much they need each other.


End file.
